Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
