Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize