Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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