My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
