um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
