and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
