I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
