Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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