so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
