Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
