Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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