Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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