finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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