So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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