hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it glows. i had to have it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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