Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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