I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
