PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
