Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
if only i could text you this smell
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
