The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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