Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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