woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
