She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
