i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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