He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
