I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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