I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize