I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
