Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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