why didn't you poke me back
i barfeds in our rink
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
