She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize