i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
