I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Terrible idea I love it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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