I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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