I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
