Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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