The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
