You just made me feel so damn special
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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