So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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