Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
