found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
