Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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