She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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