Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Boobs speak an international language.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
