He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
