i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize