We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
