you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
