I want to make a zoo with you.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize