He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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