i would punch a child for taco bell
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
