My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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