You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
