I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
