So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
