i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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