hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize