I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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