Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he shaved USA in his pubs
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he had hair everywhere except his balls
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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