I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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