She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
