Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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