...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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