Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
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He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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