i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
